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April 23, 2006

Wah Wah Wah

In the midst of this--the wedding planning (and upcoming--only days away), the honeymoon getaway-from-it-all, the move to a beautiful new apartment, and everything that comes with the stars aligning in a particularly wonderful and also stressful way--I have found myself in a tricky position. This is the sort of thing that critics of blogs would likely seize upon and say, "This, this is the perfect example of the blogger: self-centered, and self-pitying over things of which the rest would be glad." And I won't lie: they'd be right. But that said, I find myself in the need to let off a bit of steam about the good fortune that seems to have befallen me. After my first year in law school, I worked for a firm whose main practice was entertainment law, and music in particular; it was my dream job. The named partner is the guy I want to be, representing the very musicians that got me interested in, and actually employed in, the industry. And last week he called me up, and essentially asked if I wanted to come work for him. I want to work for him--I've wanted to work for him since the day I met him, and before, when I only knew him as a name to be reckoned with, a powerful man in an industry of self-important, and powerful-seeming men. He's well-liked, well-respected, a good lawyer and a good guy. But of course, at the moment my sense of loyalty is getting the better of me, and I feel bad for giving Big Firm a trip in the lurch; I have projects right now that I don't feel good about leaving behind, and I have people who depend on me regularly. I can't worry about them, I know that, I have to worry about me. But I still can't help but feel that in pursuing my own happiness, I might be dropping people I like, real friends, in the dust. And of course, these projects will wait while I'm gone after the wedding, but they'll be looming when I get back, and there will be no way to simply pass them off. This isn't really going anywhere, but this is the one way I know that I can blow off a bit of steam, and maybe get some input from folks who can think about this in ways I can't.

This was , and it appeared on April 23, 2006 7:11 PM. | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 18, 2006

Ready or Not...

These days, it seems I can't ake more than about 4 steps out the door before someone--a co-worker, a store owner, the doormen, --the local lovable homeless guy--asks me, "So, are you nervous?" My mom asked me the other night--and she was hoping I'd up and ask S long before I actually did. We've got 11 days till S and I are mister-and-missus Shoe. I don't know if it's politeness, if that's just what you say when you hear or know someone's going to get married, like if someone's about to buy a home or sneezes their milk or something like that (you know, consequential), but it amazes me how many people ask that question. To me, it makes sense in the context of the old days where you courted each other before getting married. And yes, I know that that's a fanciful, sterilized vision of The Way Things Were™, but the fact is that I don't really know anyone who doesn't know their betrothed all that well. Nor, I suspect, do you. S and are among the last people who don't live together before they're married. That doesn't bother me at all, but if anything, I've got more reason to be worried. I'm not, though. It's this simple: I love her. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her. I can't wait to celebrate it, and I sure as shooting can't wait to go on our honeymoon together and then move into our beautiful new home together. The only thing I'm worried about is whether I'll remember the wedding and reception, or if they'll shoot by like the last couple of birthdays I've had, whether all will go according to plan or if we'll find the band has gone to the other hotel. Either way, I'm not nervous. I just want to slow down time next Friday afternoon and never have it speed up so I can enjoy it all.

This was Amusing To Me and Love and Perspective , and it appeared on April 18, 2006 8:22 AM. | Comments (0) | TrackBack