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Yeah, Well, Your Comeback Sucks
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September 21, 2005
I've never been good in high-pressure situations when it comes to witty banter. It's true, I've gotten quite good at the snarky retort, usually when someone else really puts their foot in it, but I wouldn't say that I just whip out the funny stuff every time I try. In fact, given that I like to think I'm amusing from time to time, my jokes are ever-more-likely to fail than to succeed. This is probably in high correlation with the fact that they are situationally driven, and not everyone sees the humor in the situation the way I do. "What happened to excuse me?" said the grumpy high-schooler as my bag brushed past her on the crowded subway the other day. A valid question, probably, and certainly one I've thought, if not verbalized in quite the same way. But it wasn't really such a big deal, and it was early in the morning. And, quite frankly, I've just turned 28, and I'm not going to take crap from anyone who is at best 10 years my junior, and more than likely half my age. So how does one respond? I turned around slowly and looked down on this girl from intellectual, indignant, moral, and self-perceived heights, as well as from actual height, and looked her in the eye. I delivered my withering blow. "What happened to being nice?" I replied coolly. Being nice? Where did that come from? Why not just say "Your Mama!"?? Now, to be fair, S thought the response was pretty good, speedily delivered, and to the point, defusing this moppet's poor attitude, but there were so many better things to say, not to mention one that immediately bedeviled me upon about 10 seconds' thought: "What happened to moving all the way into the car? What happened to not blocking the door? What happened to decency? What happened to understanding? What happened to your face?' As you can tell, I'm very good at coming back...slowly. But if you make fun of me for it, I'm ready for you. Your Mama!This was Amusing To Me , and it appeared on September 21, 2005 1:30 AM.
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Comments
yes, what did happen to being nice? ::sigh::
Posted by: RazDreams at September 21, 2005 12:31 PM
dear shoe - please give me a clue. or at least an email address :)
Posted by: bk at September 21, 2005 4:14 PM
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