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You Can't Always Get What You Want

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July 25, 2005

When I was a kid, my mom said that I did things just to get the equipment. I joined sports teams that I thought would be cool and then coveted the cool gear my teammates had. I got jazzed about wearing cleats for the first time; leaving those little clumps of mud was great. So the accusation is partly true--I did like the new stuff--but at the same time, we were a pretty frugal family and we didn't just buy stuff. Even if we could, we didn't just go buy because we wanted something. It was all calculated and all based on real need. Thus, when I lost a baseball glove, I was required to make do with a 1940s handmedown. I caught endless amounts of crap from the other kids in my school for it, but aside from finding myself waist-deep in a box of lost-and-found, it was probably the single-most powerful way of reminding me to hold on to and keep track of my things. I remember making a case for joining the lacrosse team, replete with annual costs of equipment, how inexpensively I could fully and safely outfit myself, and how I would be on a small team with a large chance to play and make the gear worthwhile. I stuck with the team all four years of high school. When I wanted to get a new camera for my burgeoning photography hobby, I did the research and then ended up signing a contract with my mother that I would continue to take Latin and would achieve certain scores at Latin conventions. (Yes, you read right: Latin conventions. All over Texas.) None of this is to say that we didn't buy very nice things, but as my mother pointed out just the other day, deal-making is always desirable. There's no need (in my mind, as with hers—-she did good work) to buy something for the same price everyone else is if you can do better. All of which is to say that I've always been excited about new stuff. I used to get very excited about corporate toys my father would bring home from conferences, and I get fired up about a cool new pair of shoes. The joy may be transient, but for a day or so, I'm excited about the acquisition. now I'm getting married, and it's socially acceptable to covet all that stuff and get excited about brand-new pots and pans and everything else, and to ask for it because you think you need it. Even if you don't get exactly what you want (Canon 20D, Dyson vacuum cleaner, assorted kitchen weapons), you get a whole lot of what you need. And that's going to be fun.

This was Love and Perspective , and it appeared on July 25, 2005 1:25 PM.

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