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The Hippie Hippie Shake

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July 18, 2005

How self-confident are you? Men's version. Sometimes, while in a public restroom, standing there doing my thing, I wonder what I would do if a man came along and pulled the wallet from my rear pocket. [This is, I understand, a pretty common tactic.] Sometimes I have the fantasy that I would instantly grab the offender's wrist and pivot instantly on my toes. Simultaneously, I would turn my right arm--the one with the wrist in its associated hand--and twist his arm until he begged with mercy. Wallet retrieved, I might finish my business. At the urinal, naturally. Distasteful though his actions might be, I probably wouldn't consummate evacuation on such a person. It is, as I said, a bit fantastic. The realistic question, then, would be whether I would give chase before or after either completion or zippage. I feel as though it is pretty likely that I probably wouldn't stop to raise the metal-toothed closure before giving chase. A wallet's a pretty valuable thing. And so I wonder, when such admittedly-odd thoughts pass through my mind, does that make me paticularly self-confident or just careless?

This was Rebellion , and it appeared on July 18, 2005 1:52 AM.

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